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Monday, January 12, 2009

The storybook I would love to be trapped in

I would love to be trapped in my favorite of all favorites storybooks:

THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE.


Yes,just let me summarise the story and stop rushing into seeing how I would change the story! Otherwise,how would you understand?!

This guy named Henry,is a time traveler. He would constantly travel back to the past and meet his wife(when she was young of course,you tweet) . So,he is there in his wife's teenage life and young Clare is always desperate to lose her virginity to him. And then Clare,the female lead growing up with a stranger who made his first appearance stark naked in the middle of the field,would meet the real life Henry(older than her by 8 years) and they would start dating. Occasionally,they would meet an older version of Henry time traveling back from the future. They make love a lot,and Henry has the habit of jogging in the morning. Henry will die when he is 43 year old,at a countdown party where he will not make it to the 1st second of the year where he'll be 44. He will time travel back to the past and get shot to death by Clare's father. It is a touching story,there will be only one time where they mentioned him time traveling the future,where he will meet the old Clare,where she is in her 70s or 80s.



NOW,for my part of the story:

When Henry appear first in the middle of the field,stark naked,he will be a fatty bom bom. Me,being Clare,will be shock and that is why I threw a shoe at him. The shoe bounces off his fatty flab,and he would yell that he meant no harm. Okay,since he's going to be part of MY life and I'm desperate to lose my virginity to him(because all the guys in my school are fatter than him,PLUS he's got abit of looks and some potential to lose weight),he have to lose that extra tire that he had. So,I asked him to jog every morning,and since then,each time he comes back from
the future to visit me,he becomes more and more muscular:HUNK-Y! I would meet the
real-life him in the library,and I wouldn't be asking him where a book is. Instead,I would be carrying a huge stack of books and bump into him:this is more romantic than a simple question to ask where a book is! And I would make love to him,everywhere. In the mall's staircase,in an airplane while honeymoon(where the toilet bowl would drop down from the sky and kill a mad man),in a restaurant under the table(and the table will be shaking with green peas rolling off the table into the woman's handbag sitting beside us,like mr bean) etc etc. During the countdown party,I will drugged or spike or make him drunk,do whatever that will make him pass out. Now,isn't it easy already? He won't be able to time-travel and he does not time travel whilst in his sleep. He would still time travel to meet the old Clare,and he would decide he wanna try how does it feel like fucking an old Clare,so he started banging away. He thought he would die,that's why he might as well as try it anyway. Little did he know,old Henry came in and saw this scene happening,he took a toaster and starts whacking him. They fought and old Henry realise that it was young Henry,so he said" Oh well,you're still me after all. Please please,do continue." And old Henry took a vodka out and start watching himself fucking old Clare. Then young Henry would disappear just as he was about to come

*ANTI CLIMAX!*



Okay,this is getting obscene. But creativity is funny when it's a little dirty,this is where the imagination run WILD! Teehee,no offence to TTW fans out there. Just to say,I am a TTW fan too okay!

Anyway,just remember to:
CATCH INKHEART IN CINEMAS 22nd JANUARY 2009

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