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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Don't have you as my father then don't want la. It's not like you very good to us right? Does nothing for us,move away from us,other than giving my brother pocket money everyday,what else do you do? Ask money from my mother la. What the hell,i seriously feel like scolding vulgarities. If not for the fact that HE is my FATHER,i'd be suing his ass up the court for verbal abuse. Opps,how could I forget? He has no money at all,he could have gone BANKRUPT. Stop mentioning the past la,I've done wrong. At least I made amendments to become a better person,then he leh? Worse than me. Okay,stop here for now.


Seriously,I wonder my worth to exist on Earth.
I am angry,
I am disappointed,
I am sad.

I wish I could care more for my mom,but I just can't make myself do those kind of mushy things like even saying I love you to her.

Okay,I am going insane.
I seriously feel that I'm worthless.
My studies aren't good. No point trying to force me to study because IT JUST CAN'T GET IT.
I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid,but I think everyone just hates me.
I don't even make a good friend to my own clique,somehow,I felt as though I have neglected them. Plus skipping school all the time.
And one day,just one day. I would break all my fingers and stop playing GuZheng.
I don't want people to care about me.
I want break up with my boyfriend.
I don't want him to worry about me or anything.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I want to isolate myself,eat my own lunch.
Do things alone.
I think I'd be better off dead.
Jump off the building.
Hang myself.
Tell me that I am really a bad friend,or I suck.

Is this insecurity? Plus plus anger?

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